Whatup blogspot. Haven't seen you in a while.

My mind is really all. over. I can hardly sit here and focus on one subject to write about. And then throw in the fact that I know half the thoughts in my head shouldn't be there and I'm a complete mess. My ability to write has diminished so much lately and I almost feel as though I just can't get a grip.
I guess the best thing to do would be to just...write. Free write whatever comes in to my mind. No one even reads this so there are no judgemental eyes, only my own. Which I think is the biggest issue. I've learned to not care much about others opinions, yet I still can't seem to please myself.

But that totally contradicts one of the thoughts in my head right now. Asdfhhkmfslmakdm I just can't even.
It's really not fair. There are so, so, so many people in my life who do not affect me one way or another. People who have really tried to make an impact on my life. People who have really tried to be a part of my life. And so many of them...I just, don't care. And then there are these random people who just feel so important. And there is not a damn thing special about them, yet they hold such huge spaces in my heart. Why why why