I wont let people tell me what to do, but I'm not trying to start anything else or keep things going, so, I'm writing here on blog spot. Because an online journal really is my release, and right now, that's what I need. I need to talk out my mind.
To be quite honest, I gave you more respect than I guess you deserved. I honestly wanted to believe you guys were more mature than that. I mean, hm yeah, I can understand being annoyed and what not. It happens. But to keep it going... and post random shit on facebook? I mean...ah, I don't know. I'm sorry, I just don't see the point.
Here, right here, is the only time I will say this because I honestly believe it's irrelevant. Yes, maybe I should have left the money in the car. You know, it makes sense now. But I didn't think about it at the time, and for that, I apologize. I made a judgment error, but it happens. What everyone seems to fail to realize is that I left the money in someone's house, full of people that were invited there. I did not take that money. I did what I thought was best at the time. When I came back, everyone was shit faced and the owners of the money were nowhere to be found.
That's what I have to say about that night. But see, if it was only about that night, I'm sure it could be worked out. But the thing is, it isn't. This issue came up only after I was accused of talking shit and what not. Which I never did. I confessed that yeah, I felt like someone was acting like a bitch to me. And anybody outside of that group would gladly agree with me on that fact. See the kind of person I am, I forgive stuff. Especially when it's a friend who I've been good friends with for years. I am not perfect, and I don't always uphold the kind of standards I think I deserve, so yes, I forgive people. And the things I brought up to you, I was willing to forgive, even though they bothered me. And that's why I never made it a big deal. But for you to try and put some guilt trip on me in order to get a ride...after all of that? Sorry no.
I didn't make a big deal, I was simple stating why I didn't want to nor could give you a ride and you blew up at me. Called me stupid and delusional and whatever insult you could think of. And then you deleted me on facebook. Okay, it's cool. Shit happens and things change.
But then, I get some kind of threat. Which was completely uncalled for. You have an issue with me, okay. Fine. But I am not a part of your life, so why does it matter? Let it go. And I thought after I got those rediculous text messages, it would be. I thought if I don't retaliate or say anything hurtful or rude back, that shit will just go away. Because you know, we all have lives and we're all adults here.
But surprise surprise, it didn't. And today I got some text message "Hey Lizzy...what is this about?" Yeah. Great way to ruin my day which was going so well. So much I wanted to say in response to that...but I didn't. Bit my tongue because it's important to me to let it go. I honestly do not care about your opinions, I would just like to keep my life clear of you.
And so, in order for my mind to be empty, here we go: Why? That is what I will not understand. What did I ever do to you for you to care so much? What did I do for you to be so hurtful? Do you take pleasure in attempting to bring people down? Does it amuse you to be rude? And for that reason alone, I feel sorry for you. When I get bored, I go do something productive. Go to the gym, read a book, or hey even watch some TV. I don't go around throwing around words, putting people on blast, and attempting to hurt others. And that is why the only two words that come to mind are "grow up." Because it's childish behavior. No doubt about it. In case you've forgotten, we've graduated and you can no longer use high school as an excuse for the way you live your life. Anybody mature enough to understand would label your actions as petty and pathetic.
I am so glad I'm a strong enough person to not really think twice about the things you say, and I pray for anyone you've treated in such ways that wasn't. And so yeah, I hope you grow up, soon, because if you don't I promise you, that kind of shit will end up getting you in trouble and get you into situations you'll regret. So please grow up, and then I wish you all the best.
